brainless wonders

Mankind has created spectacular works of art, engineered incredibly tall buildings, designed impressive supercomputers, lived in outerspace, discovered cures for nasty diseases. As a whole, nothing can compare to human intelligence, but sometimes humans, well, you know...

Archived brainless wonders for Jan 2008

Man, 75, hurt while riding pet buffalo

Jan 1 2008 - AP
Fire officials say a Cave Creek man who was trying to ride his pet buffalo was mauled by the animal after it bucked him off. The man, 75, was flown to a Scottsdale hospital after the incident at his home about 20 miles north of downtown Phoenix...

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Accused bird smugglers stopped at border

Jan 1 2008 - AP
Border agents pulled four live birds from the pockets of a pigeon collector and a traveling companion trying to enter the United States from Canada.

The pair were stopped Sunday at the Lewiston-Queenston Bridge border crossing, where...

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Ecstasy 'safer than aspirin'

Jan 2 2008 -
KILLER drug ecstasy is safer than ASPIRIN, top cop Richard Brunstrom claimed yesterday.

He also repeated his call for Class A substances like heroin and cocaine to be LEGALISED.

The North Wales chief const-able claimed such a move...

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Man using GPS drives in front of train

Jan 3 2008 - AP
A Global Positioning System can tell a driver a lot of things — but apparently not when a train is coming. A computer consultant driving a rental car drove onto train tracks Wednesday using the instructions his GPS unit gave him. A train was barreling...

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Man, 85, clocked at 100 mph in snow, ice

Jan 4 2008 - AP
An 85-year-old motorist lost his license and his Oldsmobile for a week and likely faces a hefty fine after becoming the oldest person snagged to date by a new Ontario law aimed at cracking down on street racers, even though he was just speeding.
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Man accused of making bike trail holes

Jan 5 2008 - AP
Police said they arrested a man who acknowledged digging holes on a park bike trail as payback for nearly being run down by a cyclist.

Warren John Wilson, 52, faces a single felony count of vandalism, police Sgt. Linda King said Friday.[read the complete brainless article]

Mexican boy glues self to bed to avoid school

Jan 7 2008 - AFP
A 10-year-old Mexican boy glued his hand to his bed to avoid going back to school after the Christmas break, authorities said Monday.

"I thought if I was glued to the bed, they couldn't make me go to school," the boy, Diego, told...

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Dude, the cops will never smell it

Jan 7 2008 - AP
Lakehurst police didn't have to go far to make a marijuana arrest. An officer heading home early Saturday smelled pot burning in the police station parking lot.

Authorities said Sergeant Ronald Heinzman asked some other officers to...

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Mailing cow's head to ex's lover? Uh, no

Jan 8 2008 - AP
A western Pennsylvania man who mailed a bloody cow's head to his wife's lover has been sentenced to probation and community service.

Jason Michael Fife "understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's...

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Bird dog steps on gun, kills hunter in accident

Jan 8 2008 - Reuters
A Houston-area man was killed in a hunting accident after his dog stepped on a loaded shotgun in the back of a pick-up truck, triggering a blast that pierced the vehicle and the hunter's leg, a local sheriff said.

Perry Price, a 46-year-old...

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Man cuts off, microwaves his own hand

Jan 9 2008 - AP
A man who believed he bore the "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff's...

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Dog poop shoe prints lead to arrest

Jan 10 2008 - AP
Dog isn't this man's best friend. Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, drove his black Camaro on the wrong side of the road Wednesday and crashed into the yard of man who owns four dogs, police said.

Police found crushed bushes, a damaged...

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Priest' Arrested With 7.7 lbs of coke

Jan 11 2008 - AP
A man claiming to be a Catholic priest was arrested Friday at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport after he was caught carrying 7.7 pounds of cocaine under his robes, a spokesman for Dutch border police said.

The suspect, whose identity was...

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Man killed in fall after reported escalator stunt

Jan 13 2008 - AP
A man died after falling several stories in a Hollywood shopping mall while apparently attempting to slide down the banister of an escalator, authorities said.

The Hollywood & Highland complex includes the theater where the Academy Awards...

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Never, never spit gasoline while smoking

Jan 14 2008 - AP
A German man in the northeastern town of Gross Godems was being treated for serious burns Monday after accidentally setting his apartment ablaze when he mixed up a bottle of gasoline with alcohol, police said.

The 56-year-old apparently grabbed...

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German man throws Christmas tree and self out window

Jan 14 2008 - Reuters
A German man threw himself out of a third storey window along with a Christmas tree during a late-night attempt to dispose of his festive decorations.

The man fell 7 metres (22 feet) from his flat after he lost his balance throwing the tree...

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Talk about things going really wrong...

Jan 15 2008 - AP
Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store. A clerk told police a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry Tuesday morning demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes.
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Sex toy punter feels a dummy

Jan 16 2008 - The Sun
RETAIL bosses may have to issue bizarre health warnings on its clothing mannequins - after a punter said he got his MANHOOD trapped in one.

The man, 31, rang officials at an online firm to whinge that he got “part of himself” stuck...

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Married a third time no charm

Jan 17 2008 - AP
Stacie Warren wasn't satisfied with one husband, so police say she married again and again. Warren, 33, was cited last week on a second charge of bigamy for having three husbands. State police said Warren married Frank Gray last year while she already...

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Robber picks wrong place at wrong time

Jan 18 2008 - Reuters
A would-be Canadian robber picked the wrong place at the wrong time this week, attempting to hit a liquor store -- right across the street from a police station in the midst of a shift change.

Police in the western Canadian city of Edmonton,...

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Sweden to study belching cows

Jan 21 2008 - AP
A Swedish university has received $590,000 in research funds to measure the greenhouse gases released when cows belch.

About 20 cows will participate in the project run by the Swedish University for Agricultural Sciences in Uppsala, about 40...

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Man accused of soiling laundry room

Jan 22 2008 - AP
Repeated discoveries of human feces in clothing and other items left in an apartment building's basement laundry room led to charges Thursday against a 19-year-old man.

Authorities said Ronnie A. Ballard was arrested after a woman whose...

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"Pet" girl kicked off bus for wearing leash

Jan 23 2008 - Reuters
A British bus company has apologized to a girl who is led around on a leash by her boyfriend and describes herself as a human pet after one of its drivers threw her off a bus.

Tasha Maltby, 19, told British newspapers she was the "pet"...

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Using a car might have been better...

Jan 24 2008 - AP
A bank robbery suspect was arrested while waiting at a bus stop to make her getaway, police said. Channel Monae Gaskin, 22, was arrested Wednesday after a police officer saw her waiting for a bus and matched her to the description of the robbery suspect....

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Police: Family caught shoplifting

Jan 25 2008 - AP
Shoplifting is all in the family for one California clan, police say.

A grandmother, her daughter and some of her grandchildren tried to steal $900 worth of merchandise from a Target store in Lodi, 35 miles south of Sacramento, police...

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Driver who killed teen sues for damage

Jan 25 2008 - AP
A speeding motorist who killed a teenage cyclist is suing the boy's parents over damage to his luxury car, the government says.

Enaitz Iriondo, 17, died instantly in August 2004 when businessman Tomas Delgado's Audi A8 crashed into...

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Tantric master breaks ice record in NYC

Jan 27 2008 - AP
A man who calls himself a tantric master broke his own world record by standing engulfed in ice for 72 minutes.

Wim Hof, 48, stood on a Manhattan street in a clear container filled with ice for an hour and 12 minutes Saturday.

Hof...

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Japan teacher said to take kids pants at knifepoint

Jan 28 2008 - Reuters
A teacher at a Tokyo school was arrested on Monday for making a group of boys undress at knifepoint and stealing their underpants, Kyodo news agency reported.

A group of eight boys aged 12 to 13 were playing in school grounds earlier this month...

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Fly naked on nudist holiday flight

Jan 29 2008 - Reuters
German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.

Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial...

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Nurse admits stealing body parts of dead

Jan 30 2008 - AP
A nurse admitted Wednesday he cut body parts from 244 corpses and helped forge paperwork so the parts, some of them diseased, could be used in unsuspecting patients.

Authorities say nurse Lee Cruceta was the lead cutter in a group that trafficked...

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